This post isn't about home or runway fashion but about someone very special who did have a knack with his own personal style.
On April 25th my beautiful son CJ left this world to go live in another. We have recommitted ourselves to living the rest of our lives in a way that will honor him and his memory. I know I will see him again but death still has it's sting.
I have my moments when I can't help but think about all the grand-babies he would have given us. He would have been such a great dad. He was so handsome. Physically he was the epitome of health but emotionally his struggles were deep. He kept them to himself more often than not.
CJ tried so hard to bring people together. He was so full of life and love. He forgave everyone but himself. I never understood why, but he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.
We are a blended family but a couple of years ago CJ wrote me a letter telling me he loved all his brothers and sisters the same. He thanked me for loving his dad and being there for him. He told me he loved me and that he was proud to call me mom. I read that letter all the time now. I'm so glad he took the time to write it. I would never have known he felt that way. CJ was more comfortable writing down his feelings than showing them.
He had the biggest heart and was so full of compliments for everyone but couldn't accept any given to him.
He wanted us all to be happy and was all about family fun. The thing is, that when he came around, it was fun, just because he was here.
We miss you CJ! You left us with a hole in our hearts but we're honored to have been your family here on earth and to have so many beautiful memories of our time with you.
While we know that we will never get over the loss of him, we know our prayers to get through it are being answered. And we feel the many prayers that have been offered in our behalf.
Thank you for that!
Here's to his beautiful life...
He loved this dog and treated her like his baby.
CJ was on a run with illy but always made time for strays too. I told you he had a big heart. Everyone was important to him.
CJ struggled with depression starting around the age 15. About a week after his death a friend of his found me on facebook and shared a dream she had about him with his father and I. It's helped give us so much comfort that I thought I would share it with you.
Hi lisa, i dont know if you know me or not but cj and i were great friends growing up, and jordan and my little brother were friends as well. anyway, i cant get cj out of my head after i heard what happened, i just want to share a dream i had of him last night, i dont know if it meant anything but it had me emotional all morning. In this dream i was the age i am now, and cj was a little boy in elementary, just like in corbys profile pic. I walked into his elementary classroom and he was in the corner doing something, he ran up to me and held me by the leg and hugged me. I said "buddy, what are you doin?" he said "im making stuff!!" i look over and there is a wall of hemp bracelets with bead lettering, all over the wall, hanging on hooks. I start sorting through them and he is just grinning. some of them read "i am proud" "i am healthy" "i am brave" etc etc etc, there were hundreds. He said "do you want one?" i said sure, so he hands me one that says "i am not sad" and he puts it on my arm and tells me it is his favorite one, but that i can have it. then he hugs me again and says "you better go or your gonna be late!!!" i said "late for what?" and at that second i woke up. When i woke up from my dream, it was 6:35. i set my alarm for 6:30 and it was accidentally on silent so it wouldnt have gone off and i would have missed work today, if he wouldnt have woke me up in my dream. like i said, i have no idea where this is coming from, but i have never had a dream so strong, in my life. i just wanted to share it with you. i hope your family is doing great, and know im thinking about you all. whitney.
I wanted to frame "I am not sad" so that I would have a daily reminder of CJ's life now. I'm so grateful for that dream.
The above picture is of CJ as a boy being held by his Grandpa Morris who died a year and a half ago of cancer. They really loved each other.
Until we meet again...
To see more about CJ's beautiful life go to http://corbyjohnmorrisjr.blogspot.com
On April 25th my beautiful son CJ left this world to go live in another. We have recommitted ourselves to living the rest of our lives in a way that will honor him and his memory. I know I will see him again but death still has it's sting.
I have my moments when I can't help but think about all the grand-babies he would have given us. He would have been such a great dad. He was so handsome. Physically he was the epitome of health but emotionally his struggles were deep. He kept them to himself more often than not.
CJ tried so hard to bring people together. He was so full of life and love. He forgave everyone but himself. I never understood why, but he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.
We are a blended family but a couple of years ago CJ wrote me a letter telling me he loved all his brothers and sisters the same. He thanked me for loving his dad and being there for him. He told me he loved me and that he was proud to call me mom. I read that letter all the time now. I'm so glad he took the time to write it. I would never have known he felt that way. CJ was more comfortable writing down his feelings than showing them.
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| Our last family picture taken in 2008 |
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| I love this one because CJ's in the middle |
He had the biggest heart and was so full of compliments for everyone but couldn't accept any given to him.
He wanted us all to be happy and was all about family fun. The thing is, that when he came around, it was fun, just because he was here.
We miss you CJ! You left us with a hole in our hearts but we're honored to have been your family here on earth and to have so many beautiful memories of our time with you.
While we know that we will never get over the loss of him, we know our prayers to get through it are being answered. And we feel the many prayers that have been offered in our behalf.
Thank you for that!
Here's to his beautiful life...
 |
| illy and CJ |
CJ was on a run with illy but always made time for strays too. I told you he had a big heart. Everyone was important to him.
CJ struggled with depression starting around the age 15. About a week after his death a friend of his found me on facebook and shared a dream she had about him with his father and I. It's helped give us so much comfort that I thought I would share it with you.
Hi lisa, i dont know if you know me or not but cj and i were great friends growing up, and jordan and my little brother were friends as well. anyway, i cant get cj out of my head after i heard what happened, i just want to share a dream i had of him last night, i dont know if it meant anything but it had me emotional all morning. In this dream i was the age i am now, and cj was a little boy in elementary, just like in corbys profile pic. I walked into his elementary classroom and he was in the corner doing something, he ran up to me and held me by the leg and hugged me. I said "buddy, what are you doin?" he said "im making stuff!!" i look over and there is a wall of hemp bracelets with bead lettering, all over the wall, hanging on hooks. I start sorting through them and he is just grinning. some of them read "i am proud" "i am healthy" "i am brave" etc etc etc, there were hundreds. He said "do you want one?" i said sure, so he hands me one that says "i am not sad" and he puts it on my arm and tells me it is his favorite one, but that i can have it. then he hugs me again and says "you better go or your gonna be late!!!" i said "late for what?" and at that second i woke up. When i woke up from my dream, it was 6:35. i set my alarm for 6:30 and it was accidentally on silent so it wouldnt have gone off and i would have missed work today, if he wouldnt have woke me up in my dream. like i said, i have no idea where this is coming from, but i have never had a dream so strong, in my life. i just wanted to share it with you. i hope your family is doing great, and know im thinking about you all. whitney.
I wanted to frame "I am not sad" so that I would have a daily reminder of CJ's life now. I'm so grateful for that dream.
The above picture is of CJ as a boy being held by his Grandpa Morris who died a year and a half ago of cancer. They really loved each other.
Until we meet again...
To see more about CJ's beautiful life go to http://corbyjohnmorrisjr.blogspot.com
The most beautiful post of yours that I have ever read. You are a classy mom and to be able to live with so much love and generosity is truly your greatest style quality. Love you Lisa. Thanks for putting this out there. Writing is healing. I think CJ should have been a writer. I'm glad he wrote to you and I LOVE that dream. What a gift we have to know of the eternities. The veil is thin.
ReplyDelete:) Thank you Dolly. And you're right, he would have been a great writer. I'll let you read the letter in it's entirety sometime. It's one of my most priceless possessions.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. He really was an amazing person.
ReplyDelete